Sydney Under Attack!

Sydney descended into chaos today as the fine capitol of New South Wales, Australia, was invaded by a fleet of ships, apparently a coalition of American, British and New Zealand forces.

It began at the break of dawn, when one of the largest ships in the world, the Queen Mary 2, built by the British, commanded by the Kiwis and containing mostly American forces, sneaked into Sydney Harbour. A tremendous response fleet of volunteer craft, mostly constituted of brave Australian fishermen, aged 16 to 67, swarmed the ship, and the New South Wales fire brigade released their fleet to propel the monstrous vessel. The QM2, nearly the size of the Empire State Building, recklessly, audaciously and easily plowed though our first line of defense.

Arriving as such a surprise, the ship was able to quickly sink anchor near the homes of Nicole Kidman, Mel Gibson and Russel Crowe. Wire services say the celebrities were safely brought off of Australian territory, thanks largely to their ties with the invading nations. Baz Luhrmann, on the other hand, was left to fend for himself. Paris Hilton was reportedly unable to find transport back to her native land.

Over 2,600 "passengers" stormed through the anxious crowd of Sydney-siders, making their way swiftly into the city centre. CBD was overwhelmed and there have been reports of mass hysteria in the streets. Intersections were gridlocked, entire streets came to a standstill and people took to foot to flee the city. Nary a Sydney-sider exists who has not been affected by today's horrific events.

With much of Australia's own army overseas, and it's navy consisting of nothing but what can be found at the Australian Maritime Museum, air support was called in. The Red Baron, and it's accompanying aircraft, the Red Bull, joined forces with the F-111 fleet and several Black Hawks to remind the invaders that we have weapons too.

For much of the rest of 20 February, 2007, the city put forth a steady resurgence, but the stakes were raised at dusk when the Queen Mary 2 was joined by another large invasion ship: The Queen Elizabeth 2. The ships acknowledged each other with a series of coded honks before the new ship dropped anchor directly in front of the Sydney Overseas Passenger Terminal and let its inhabitants loose upon the city. Cruise Bar and Doyle's were the first to be overcome by the wrath unleashed upon them.

Australia quickly responded, firing cannons from Fort Denison and displaying an impressive show of our works of fire unto the Harbour. The result was largely successful, with the departure of the initial aggressor, the Queen Mary 2, though it is rumoured that some 1,600 of its number did not board before it left.

As citizens of this fine country we must continue to fight, and we must continue to seek out any of their number who have infiltrated our city, prepared to perform acts of sabotage or release propaganda to our peoples. As of the moment of my filing this report, the streets are ablaze with the activities of the invaders. The alarming number of shouts and screams indicate that they have taken over. Be on alert.

Good night, and good luck.