Victoria the Beast Cannibal Goldfish

Our friends Jen and Ben (Bennifer) asked us to look after their fish while they were away for the holidays this past December. We would oversee the fish for a few days before heading off on our own holiday before our house-sitting friends Todd & Candice would take over. A few months ago Dana and I picked up Pete & Jim the same day that Bennifer picked up Albert & Victoria. When Ben was scooping Albert and Victoria out (forgive the names, Bennifer is a pom) they accidentally picked out four much smaller fish. They bought the bundle, and we headed out.

Somewhere on the way home, one of the small fish "disappeared". Once home Albert & Victoria's alien freaking heads were poured into a bowl with the remaining three small fish. Shortly after Albert was swimming a bit funny. Bennifer noted that Victoria seemed to be "picking on" Albert. I take this literally given later events. Albert died. Bennifer picked up another bug-eyed fish who was also killed died. I'm not sure what the name of the other unfortunate fish was. George or William or Harry or something. When the fish landed on our table next to the peaceful Pete and Jim, there was billowing Victoria and three small unnamed fellas.

The first night they were here I was typing into my blog and periodically glancing over at them. Victoria seemed to be chasing around the smaller fish. Then I looked over and saw a small guy floating belly-up. When cold water didn't wake him up I flushed him. I didn't think he's wake up since his belly was open.

"Shit," I thought. "First night watching these fish and one dies."

After coming back from the dunny I leaned over the bowl to watch Victoria and the other two. On cue Victoria sucked one of the little guys into her mouth head first. Of course the first thing I did was grab my camera.

If you watch the clip you can see her chewing on the fish that is way to big for her to swallow. At first she seems to hide it, but she's a fish, so she quickly realises she has no consciousness and there is nothing to gain in hiding it, so she flaunts it. She flaunts it so much. The next morning the little fish was at the bottom of the bowl, headless.



I can hear her. "Look at me. I am a goldfish sucking on the head of a fish I perceive to be lower on the food chain. Yes I know I'm supposed to eat those flakes, but this head is so goddamn tasty. Guilt? I'm a goldfish. I already forget what this thing in my mouth is." [suck] "But it's tasty. Who are you?"

Epilogue
I saved the last little guy and put him in our bowl. He is named Survivor. Pete and Jim were ambivalent towards him, and he's still doing well. Sadly, Jim died last week. I know he's just a fish but it still upsets me. I can't figure out what could have caused it except that he had been tipping to one side for a few days. I assumed he had gas like Pete used to. Victoria returned to her apartment at Bennifer's on the 46th floor of Century Tower where she lives out a lonely existence, cut off from all other fish. Pete and Survivor are doing well.