Thoughts on Boerum Hill

Soon I will be a Boerum Hillite. Or is it just Boerumite? Or Boerumian. One sounds like a mineral, the other like a type of protohuman who lives in caves of boerumite. Whichever.

We will be moving to the neighborhood, so I decided to look into what "Boerum Hill" is, geographically speaking. I think it's a real estate term, with little historical importance... a word or phrase emphasized to encourage people to move in. For example, attaching "Park Slope" to an apartment helps it move in the market, so "Park Slope" has grown into surrounding areas seen to be not as cool as Park Slope.

"Boerum Hill" is a different sort of neighborhood. For a long time, it carried the connotation of a dangerous place to live. As time has passed, just as gentrification flipped Alphabet City, so has Boerum Hill found itself in the process of flipping.

What does this mess mean for finding a proper map? Well, I wanted to find some sort of online map. Preferably one that was updated daily to reflect Park Slope's expansion and Sunset Park's withdrawal to the south. No luck.

I did find some maps from the New York City Department of City Planning that clearly defined some zones. However, it was brought to my attention that some residents of a few neighborhoods in Brooklyn have created their own SuperSexyHood called BoCoCa. Obviously these people couldn't find the time to Google where they lived, panicked and created a new alliance of Brooklyn city-states: Boerum Hill + Cobble Hill + Carroll Gardens.

It's certainly catchy, but I'm wary about aligning ourselves too closely with those neighborhoods, thereby distancing ourselves from other, more powerful neighbors. ProFoPa (Prospect Heights, Fort Greene and Park Slope) would make a pretty hefty alliance, leaving those of us exposed at the eastern edge of BoCoCa in Boerum Hill particularly vulnerable. I think we should stay neutral and remember to maintain friendly relations with Downtown Brooklyn and Brooklyn Heights, ensuring access to the water as well as serious clout if we ever need it. And we can look into invading Red Hook if we need art, drugs, Swedish furniture or a distraction.