NZ Day 4: Boxing Day and the Biggest Post Ever

I realise that I left some key bits out of the last NZ entry: Christmas dinner. As we drove into Invercargill, we found that I had neglected to print a map for this town. "Sure!" we thought, "Invercargill has got to be tiny! We'll just drive around until we find our B&B!" While the city is not actually exceptionally large, it seemed to be. For one thing, as I recall, every street in the CBD had eight lanes. My memory may off at the moment, but that is how I remember it. Also, none of the traffic lights coming off of smaller streets ever change from red, so you have to turn left or right against red if you want to get anywhere. I think.

Where was I? Ah, yes, that blind tennis player named Dana suggested we call the B&B for directions... and expected me to stop the car while we figured out where we were! We did stop, and we did find our way to Beersheba B&B. We had a fantastic room full of fresh flowers. Since it was Christmas, our hosts had their own family over for Christmas dinner, and they introduced us to everyone as if we were extended family. Michael dropped us off at the Ascott Hotel for our Christmas dinner. Excellent choice for a B&B on Christmas.

OK, here's where things get a bit interesting. Just about every Christmas dinner I have experienced - from a small boy playing with his new Light Bright and hoping his cousin Brian can sleep over - to a Christmas dinner full of questions about my impending move to Australia - have been interesting. This one was most interesting for different reasons.

The food at The Ascott Christmas Buffet was great: turkey, lamb, beef, salads, etc, all well seasoned and well-cooked (we were in New Zealand after all). The wine selection is good, again, of course. The staff were attentive and friendly.

But something seemed a bit off with this dinner. Dana and I knew this was the first one away from any sort of family - the year before we spent Christmas with close friends and their family - but something was stll amiss. Maybe it was the missing "i" in "stll" from the previous sentence. Not quite. It was something deeper. Most of the families came, ate and left, with little convivial banter. Most did stack too much food on each plate, apparently unaware that it was a buffet. Most didn't drink! Dana and I came to the conclusion that most of these people didn't like their family. It makes perfect sense: pick up your relatives, have dinner and then drop them off. There is no time to linger or worry about how to get rid of them. My Christmas's past, whether at Auntie Eil's & Uncle Gerry's, Colleen & Tom's, or Jim & Gail's, have been extremely fun. I can't remember a family Christmas party that I wanted to end. Dana and I had a very good, if absurd, time at Christmas dinner at the Ascott. Now if you frequent The Ascott Hotel for Christmas dinner, please let me know your thoughts.

I'm not done with Christmas dinner yet, if you can believe it. Seeking lively Christmas cheer, Dana and I moved from the dining room as more and more waitresses were poured into the room to clear the dinner tables. We popped into the little hotel bar attached to the restaurant, where they had to confirm that we ate dinner at the adjoining restaurant. You'd think they were packed! Nope. Dana and I were the only two there. They had a good beer selection! But what's this on TV? Kelsey Grammar? Lots of candles? Tom Petty? We sit down with our drink slightly unnerved. Jim Carrey appears on the TVs, "Joe and Bob worked on the 101st floor of the South Tower..." Outta here! Dana and I sat back down at our table in the dining room, but I did venture back into the bar to ask the bartender:
"Can I have another Invercargill Pitch Black?"
"Sure."
"Odd programming you have on here for Christmas."
[nod]
"Do you know what this is?"
"We have a bunch of DVDs in the back on rotate and this is what's up."
"This is 'A Tribute to Heroes'... for the attacks on NY on 9/11."
[nod]
"I'm from New York. This video brings up a lot of very sensitive memories... and it's Christmas."
I swear I actually watched my words fly over her head.
"Is there anything lighter you can put on?" I asked, "Maybe a documentary about Auschwitz?"
I gave up. Dana and I returned to the dining area. We took a stroll home in the twilight at around 9:30, to the consternation of a flock of cows that charged the fence and followed us on their side, glaring. I think one of them moo-ed, "Watch it, bro, this is South Invercargill!"

Look at me... all that writing and we're still on the day before! Let me add some reference to the title about how long the blog is.

Much better.

Let me wrap up Christmas night. Back at the B&B we joined our hosts and their family for some foosball and “Dirty Dancing”. Yes, it was a bit odd to be with strangers on Christmas, but we gave into their friendly insistence and had a lovely night. Besides, how can you resist foosball and “Dirty Dancing”?

Boxing Day it was off to Bluff, on the southern tip of the South Island. We picked up a brochure that had a "historic walk" of Bluff. Perhaps if the city quadruples in size and somehow gains significance then there could be a decent historic walk in about a hundred years. For now, it's still a nice place to drop by for the famous Bluff oysters and the view towards Stewart Island. Unfortunately the fog was so thick that we couldn't see the top of the hill we thought about climbing to see Stewart Island, and we were there too early to get any oysters. Oh well. Next time.

Onwards from Bluff brought us past some other interesting sites, such the (truly) historic Clifden Suspension Bridge, fantastic mountains, interesting little stores and police stations and lots more sheep. Dana even took the wheel for a bit so I could get a good look around. Dana's method of driving is to drop a brick on the gas pedal and steer. I don't remember seeing too much while Dana was driving, but I did get a good long look and the backs of my eyelids.

By afternoon we were passing Manapouri, located on Lake Manapouri, on our way to Te Anau, located on Lake Te Anau. We have some great photos from the lakes, but again, they just don't do it justice. We did some beautiful walks, grabbed a bite, and went off on a boat trip to see the Te Anau Caves, or Te Anau Glow Worm Caves. This was one of the highlights of the trip. The boat ride across the lake was stunning. Once on the other side we were led into to the caves, which are still forming thanks to the very active underground rivers. In groups of eight we boarded tiny little boats, hardly big enough for six, and were pulled through a small underground lake to a "grotto". Once there, the guide's light was turned off. Eyes readjusted, and the glow from thousands of worms grew stronger and stronger. It was like being outside late at night in the desert, each worm a star. The worms drop sticky fishing lines from the ceiling and then glow to attract small insects. The insects get stuck and become supper. Pretty amazing.