Fingernail 2.0

I don't rant much on this blog, but I have to do so tonight. This occasion is especially sad for 2 reasons: 1. the rant is against my own body and 2. it's quite difficult for for me to type right now.

Why do we have fingernails? I always thought it was because our fingertips are so susceptible to harm, protruding out there more than most of our body... and doing stuff. If so, can someone explain to me why my well-calcified (calcinated?) fingernails can't protect me from a dullish Henkels chef knife? Yes, this knife was wielded by my own (other) hand, but still... I haven't sharpened it in years!

So what happened? I was chopping away at a jalapeno to include in these wrap thingies I would freeze for lunches. I cook and chop a lot, and jalapenos, in my opinion, are among the worst to cut. This jalapeno did what others had in the past: it jumped. Cutting lengthwise, reaching the end, and bam, the thick flesh shifts, finger under blade. I knew I should have got a habanero.

But really, it's not the jalapeno's fault - it's my fingernail's. I used to think my fingernails were so tough. I can't even bite them off! But maybe I just need to reevaluate the strength of my teeth.

Back to the initial point: we need better fingernails. It is clear that our existing units are insufficient, so I am researching fingernail improvements. So far I have designed little fingernail helmets. If you have a better idea, I'd love to know.