Merry Christmas!

Ah, Christmastime in Sydney: it started weeks ago! For over two months we get to enjoy fake Christmas trees, Christmas carols, and plenty of Christmas candy... all the while experiencing increasing heat and humidity. This will be my second holiday season in Oz, and I don't think it will seem any less absurd. While Santa on the beach in a bathing cozzie and surfer's wearing Santa hats are both amusing, two months of Christmas merchandising is a bit much. The main problem is that there are no competing holidays.

In the US all of the stores are black and orange from September through October - full of pumpkins and witches. This is a happy and gentle transition from the Back to School decor. After blinking the stores have suddenly change colour and the pumpkins have become turkeys, the witches have become pilgrams (ironic?). In the drug store, all the candy corn has been swept into the back storeroom for the next year and plastic Indian corn fills the aisles. Towards the end of November it feels like the Christmas decorations are pressing in from the walls, about to spill out and knock over the shopping carts... but for some reason it's still a surprise when you walk into a CVS for some gum and everything is red. But even then there is some respite: the red and green is accented with Blue and Silver. Christmas does start earlier in the form of music, to be sure. How many times can you listen to Monster Mash? And so, in the US, we have two months of Dominick the Donkey, Alvin & The Chipmunks, and any pop star who was smart enough to realise you can make a ton of money on a Christmas album - even if it sucks. They still play New Kids on the Block at Christmas! Still, audio invasion is one thing, at least they spare you the visual.

Q: So why is it so different in Sydney?
A: Lack of holiday buffer.

- Halloween: It's never taken off. Australians don't need a holiday for fancy dress. Some some reason they're willing to dress up in costume for a party any other time of the year, but refuse to do so on Halloween. And they also can't remember the date. This year it's today (the 28th)!
- Thanksgiving: Well this is an obvious one.
- Hanukkah & Kwanzaa: yeah right.

And so we'll be walking by David Jones in shorts and thongs (flip-flops), watching the window displays and not quite being fooled by all the wreaths. And it doesn't end on the 25th of December. Let's take it one step further: Boxing Day.