My Spoon Is Too Big

My Spoon Is Too Big!

The King and His Banana

Today I ate my first banana in eight months. I felt like a king. Here in Australia we used to enjoy inexpensive, healthy bananas on a regular basis, but Cyclone Larry changed all that. Cyclone Larry sounds like a friendly kids birthday party clown, but it was actually a horrifically destructive storm that hit Queensland (North-east Australia) early last year.


Cyclone Larry
95% of Australia's banana plantations were destroyed by Cyclone Larry. Needless to say, the cash crop for many farmers was no more. Australia, in a long-standing effort to prevent foreign diseases and insects, does not import bananas, so this particular produce was essentially unavailable to the people for quite some time. Bananas started to show up on the market - for about $14/kilo (about $6/Pound) - but these were small and bruised. Some did purchase them to support the farmers but the quality was not the same as those old Aussie bananas, so sales were low even for what little was produced.

So city-dwelling Australians felt the impact of Cyclone Larry "at the grocery store." I felt like a king when I ate my banana today, but the bulk of the farmers in Queensland are still struggling to get by. Even after the crops have recovered, the infrastructure will need many more years to recover. A sick clown has destroyed the livelihood for many people.


The Drought
The farmers in Queensland are still reeling from the effects of Cyclone Larry, and farmers all over Australia are reeling from the worst drought in Australian history. Even before spring is over, plans are being made to cart water into entire cities. Can you imagine living in a city of hundreds of thousands of people and running out of water? And these people wash, scrub and rinse the dishes all in the same water! And shave and brush their teeth in that water too! OK, maybe not really that last part. Or maybe they do now.

The drought is bad and the resulting bushfires may be even worse. The photo above is of the currently burning Blue Mountains - just an hour or two out of Syndey. As I write this in the centre of Syndey I can smell those fires.

Face Recognition - Finding Out Which - Who Do I Look Like?

I've always been told I look like some celebrity, but never the same one:
"You look just like that doctor from ER!"
"You look like Gary Busey's son!"
"You look like that communist dictator in Cuba!"

And so I've taken the matter into my own hands and entered a few photos into a celebrity facial recognition program. I know that there is no way one photo could deliver accurate results. Two should do it.

Run1 - Straight-faced:


Run 2 - Smiling:


The only person who came up both times is NSYNC's Joey Fatone. I had no previous knowledge of this individual, but he's not a bad-looking guy. Yeah, he's Italian-American and I'm Irish-America, but we're both from New York and baritone and were teenage hearthrobs.

Honestly I think the greatest similarity is to Fidel Castro: in terms of facial bone structure, that is... and possibly in terms of political views as well. The word on the street is that there is some Spanish blood in my family on the Kelly side. Supposedly a Spaniard swam ashore to Ireland after the Armada sunk and entered into the ancestry of my mom's family. I like to think of this guy as Juan Pablo Kelly.

The Sydney Monorail

One fine day in 1988 Lyle Lanley visited Sydney and sat in on a town hall meeting. Here is the recorded testimony:

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...
Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs.
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Sydney's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: Once again...
All: Monorail!

And so it was set to be. Leonard Nimoy presided over the opening ceremony, and Homer saved the runaway monorail by sinking an anchor into a giant donut. Of course none of this is true... except for the fact that a monorail was actually built in Sydney and it still functions.

I have not been able to find any information about how they decided to build it or who funded its construction. I have heard rumours that the monorail was a gift to Sydney from South Korea for the bicentennial. I have also heard that the city gave the monorail to itself for the occasion. The monorail is mainly a tourist attraction but some Sydney-siders who live on the line do take it to work. It snakes through CBD, Chinatown and Pyrmont amoung other places. It's worth a ride if you're in Sydney.


And so I sign off of the least investigatory blog I have written. Needless to say, there is more to come.

Greetings from Sydney

Jim Vetrecin, Gail Weisse, & Kay and Wally Reuter are wrapping up their trip to Australia. More photos to come soon, but here is a shot from just about now:


That's a bit more welcoming than this photo:

7 More Bridges Walk

I'm recovering from my huge loss at the Melbourne Cup - no, celebrating my huge win... OK, I bet nothing. I wanted to get to my local TAB to have a punt but I just haven't had a moment free! Well now I do, so back over to the grand 7 Bridges Walk that was nearly ten days ago:

Now where was I.... ah yes we had just crossed the Anzac Bridge. I must note that the friends who accompanied us on the walk were kiwis, and kiwi Glenn pointed out that there is another difference between the Australian flag and the flag of New Zealand, besides the one star lacking on the kiwi flag: The stars on the NZ flag have a red border. This difference between AU & NZ culture is just the tip of the iceberg. I think, someday, I shall dedicate an entire blog entry to such differences.

The next bridge to cross was the first on the agenda that none of us had already crossed at some point - the Iron Cove Bridge. "The bridge is comprised of aesthetically distinctive piers and abutments which reflect the Inter-War Art Deco style." Yes this is true, but what's interesting is that construction on this bridge began in 1947 and completed in 1955. Does "Inter-War Art Deco style" refer to that period of architectural history between WWII and the Vietnam War? Perhaps. Or, more likely, this bridge is as much an example of "Inter-War Art Deco style" as it is an example of how behind the times Australia was back in those days. Either way the bridge is attractive, and the view back towards the city is beautiful.

After this we have the least aesthetically distinctive or aesthetically pleasing bridge of the walk: the Gladesville Bridge. This bridge does the job, of course, but approaching it you would not know you were about to cross any water. OK, OK, but "at the time of its completion in 1964, Gladesville Bridge was the longest single span concrete arch ever constructed." Considering this statement, much to the chagrin of the fans of the Gladesville Bridge, since then the following has happened, in order:
-1. A longer single span arch made of something other than concrete has been constructed. (Before the Gladesville)
1. A longer single span concrete arch has been constructed.
2. A longer single or multiple span concrete arch has been constructed.

-1: A steel, longer arch was actually build well after the Gladesville Bridge, in 1977 over the New River in West Virginia, USA, and is featured on the West Virginia quarter.
1: This has not happened.
2: Nope. Good attempt in Croatia, but not quite.
So this bridge is actually a feat of architecture. At the time it was built, the theory behind the structure was completely untested and a major construction record was set. Why do the Aussies downplay it with so many clauses? I don't know.

Sadly the two bridges immediately following the Gladesville are less technically impressive. The Tarban Creek Bridge looks like a weak imitation of the Gladesville. The Fig Tree Bridge looks like it was built by scouts. Both of these two bridges were build to connect with the road from the Gladesville and form the Great Planned North-Western Expressway Linking the City With The Sydney-Newcastle Freeway. Never happened.


After crossing six of our seven bridges, two sepos and three kiwis found themselves climbing up and down suburban hills 10 kilometers from home in search of the next bridge and challenging each other as to who could hold off the longest without a bathroom visit. This was a fun challenge since giving in pretty much meant knocking on someone's door. Chris gave in despite the offer of $50 from Fiona. This happened to coincide with our discovery that there were more than seven bridges in the walk. Channel 7 sponsored the event, and so it was called the Seven Bridges Walk, but we actually crossed NINE bridges! Maybe Channel 9 was too cheap to fork over the cash, but the two extra bridges kept us entertained, along with Jackarandas, Taliban Streets, and Scenic Car Parks.

Finally we reached the homestretch: the amazing Sydney Harbour Bridge. The Sydney Harbour Bridge is "the world's largest (but not the longest) steel arch bridge." The longest, when the Harbour Bridge was completed, was the Bayonne Bridge, which opened just before the Harbour Bridge. Since then the New River Gorge Bridge in West Virginia and the Lupu Bridge in Shanghai have surpassed it. However, judging by photos of these bridges, and in some cases experience, they can't compare to the Sydney Harbour Bridge. This bridge's magnificence is on the scale of the San Francisco Bay Bridge and the Brooklyn Bridge. This bridge was built by a young country during the Great Depression. It hosts the most fantastic New Years fireworks in the world. You can legally climb it. Can you beat that?

After this enjoyable/treacherous walk, the sepos and kiwis kicked back for a few beers at the Australian. Click here for all of the photos.

Melbourne Cup

The Melbourne Cup will be on Tuesday, 7 November this year. This horse race, held at Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne, is one of the biggest sports events in Australia. The tag-line is "The race that stops the nations"... and it pretty much does. The day, always the first Tuesday of November, is a holiday in the state of Victoria. Most of the rest of Australia stops whatever they are doing to watch the 3PM race. Many Australians, being Australian, decide to precede the viewing with a champagne lunch, starting at noon and ending sometime early the next morning. Not much work gets done on Melbourne Cup Day. Logical to have such an event on a Tuesday, isn't it?

The first Melbourne Cup was held back in 1861 for a gold watch and 170 pounds. Last year the prize was over $5 million. In 1861, 4000 people turned out for the race; last year over 110,000 turned up for the race itself and nearly 400,000 the Melbourne Cup Carnival. Now I don't know why more people who attended the Carnival didn't crane their necks to watch the race. Perhaps 290,000 of them were busy ordering a round at the bar. Last year, the horse Makybe Diva set a record by winning the cup three times. He's not running tomorrow, and I've yet to put my tips in... so I'll just pick on number, name or colour like usual.

But what is the Melbourne Cup really about? I think largely an excuse to wear a big silly hat. But Mark Twain attended the Cup in 1895 and had this to say, "Nowhere in the world have I encountered a festival of people that has such a magnificent appeal to the whole nation. The Cup astonishes me." If they wore the hats back then, they too would have astonished Mr. Twain.